My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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