..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
