im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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