walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
