need another drink. this is the easiest way
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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