idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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