Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
