The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
