I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
