is your mom at the bar?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
