xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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