Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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