Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it hurts more in the daytime
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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