to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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