.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
