I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
