Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I need to align my fucking chakras
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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