If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
