Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
