She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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