I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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