grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
