when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
