you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Randomize
