my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
