let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
