i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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