She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
