I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
