i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
