bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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