and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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