Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
