Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
