Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
