theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize