those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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