how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
