I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
