Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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