you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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