I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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