i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize