IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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