Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
