the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Randomize
