The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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