Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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