You made me cry and you don't even care
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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