My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need moral support for this bender
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
