I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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