She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
