Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Randomize
