Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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