so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
