that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
