Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
