I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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