party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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