im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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